Qadr-e Madar

They say when you become a parent, you understand what your parents did for you. I have certainly learned that it's a lot of work now, and it's going to be a lot of work (and heartache) looking down the road too. However, I also realize that I am happy to do it; Kian is so very worth it. You also come to realize that it is unlikely that children could ever love their parents as much as their parents love them. Otherwise, we'd probably never move away. I'm already dreading Kian moving out someday.

However, this post is not about what I am learning about the trials and tribulations (and rewards) of parenthood. I wanted to say how much I am learning about my mom now. In Farsi, there is a saying - qadr-e madar - that basically translates into "a mother's worth." The saying refers to how much a mother will do for you and how awesome moms are... and no! I am not writing about myself here. Again, I am writing about MY mother. What I have learned through all this is just as much about how much she did for me in the past, but also about how much she is doing for me now. I am so very well taken care of... I mean, Kian sleeps in my mom's (his) room at night, so the occasional fussing (babies are loud sleepers... who knew!?) doesn't bother me. She'll take him from me when he is crying like crazy, because sometimes babies just need to be away from their mom... the smell of milk can make things difficult and nursing to solve all problems is not a great habit to get into. The list of all she does for us goes on and on... I haven't cooked in months and have been fed INCREDIBLE food. I can even make food requests if I want - and so can Rob! If I leave the laundry because of Kian, I'll find that it's been folded. The dishes are done and our bathroom got cleaned the other day - what?!? They say you can't spoil a baby, but let me tell you, you can spoil an almost 30 year old. :)

I can't imagine going through all this alone... and with less than a month of her time remaining with us, I am feeling a bit of depression settle in. Visitors help reassure me that it'll be ok. It's scary to think about otherwise! Going from being a majorly social person to what is beginning to feel a bit like isolation is hard. Kian is worth it, but it's not an easy transition. I am working on developing mom friends to help me get through this... I just feel that time is ticking. I have until Feb 3 before my mom goes to be with her own mom again. All these things combined - becoming a parent myself, seeing how much work my mom is willing to do for me and with how much love, and coming to terms with her impending departure has made me realize the qadr of MY madar. She's certainly worth her weight in gold. Thank you, Mom!