What a Year...

I can't believe tomorrow is Kian's birthday. A year ago today, I was in labor. Wow. What a marker in time. I have to say, I'm surprised that a birthday isn't more about the parents. That was quite a day! I mean, it changed my very definition of pain. I don't even feel needle injections any more! But beyond that, it changed my outlook on life.

I never imagined this year would be so hard. From having my first surgery to incredible nursing issues (I've made it to a year!!! wow!) and from Kian's reactive respiratory disorder (three hospitalizations!) to being a super active baby, this year has been demanding. The challenges have been physical, emotional, and psychological. The sleep deprivation, changing friendships and hectic schedule, I was prepared for... I knew to be afraid of it. But the rest... well, it's been a lot of adjustment. Nothing in my life prepared me for the fear of watching my baby struggling to breath. No week in my life has been more stressful... heck! I even got my first sinus infection out of it.

Looking over the year, the lows have been pretty low, but the highs definitely compensate. It's incredible just thinking how much the little man has grown. My recent/current favorite moments: Kian (s)tumbling towards me as he learned to walk, him taking my hand and hitting it against Rob's when we ask him to give us five (I'm not your monkey!), and of course "touchdown!" I love when he "meowed," but it was only three times and then he remembered that he likes to tell us what to do... not the other way around.

I've been thinking a lot about something my dad said to me a couple of months ago. I made the very classic statement of nobody saying it would be THIS hard. Unlike me, he gave a much less common response and one I thought got right to the point. Parents are always telling us how hard it is, but as he pointed out, "everybody just thinks you're bragging." How sadly true.

I should take the time to thank all my fellow Mommies who have helped so much: being there to listen, calling to say hello because you know how lonely it gets sometimes, help with errands, or even coming to watch Kian while I prepare for the party tomorrow. It all means so much to me. Also, thank you for checking in on Kian when he's sick... knowing you care about him means SO much to me. You all rock. I am thankful for this supportive network. Without you... well, I don't want to think about it. Thank you also to the rest of our friends who have been here for me. I've needed you more than you realize. Unfortunately, I'm really bad at asking for it.